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My Own Worst Enemy: A Memoir of Addiction, by Ronnie Steele
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Addiction is a gripping disease to which one can either succumb or overcome. Here is the story of a man who has done both with equal passion and despair. Join him on a journey as he finds himself lost in the deepest throes of substance abuse and later scaling the mountain that is recovery. My Own Worst Enemy offers a harrowing look at the very face of drug and alcohol addiction and the glory that accompanies one addict's vindication. Ronnie shares with the reader his most intimate trials and victories, from a childhood of abuse to the birth of his first child. At once painful and beautiful, his story is a testament to the strength and enlightenment that comes with sobriety and gives hope to those still struggling that they, too, can find freedom from addiction.
- Sales Rank: #138846 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-01-28
- Released on: 2011-01-28
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 28 people found the following review helpful.
Insincere and Self Indulgent
By Brooklynn
If you are interested in a true account of addiction and recovery, spare yourself this self inflated
nonsense. I downloaded this book to my Kindle when it was offered for free. I would not pay for it.
This so-called "memoir" reads like a hastily written forced journal entry from someone claiming to be a recovering addict. The syntax is void of emotion, and the flat accounting of his drug fueled close calls takes up most of the pages. I suffered through the longest hour reading to the end only so I could write my honest review and hopefully spare someone who might be genuinely interested in reading a personal story about addiction and recovery.
If you have ever sat in a Twelve Step meeting you will recognize this guy. You know, the one who's eyes glaze over with euphoric recall as he tells his endless war-stories. On, and on, and on... this author rambles with poor use of descriptive language and repetitive details leaving each story bumping into the next with no insight, and self indulgent grandiosity as he relives his glory days.
I felt nothingness, empty and frustrated as the story fell completely flat and was devoid of the recognition, empathy, remorse and personal insight into the devastation the disease process of addiction causes the addict and the collateral damage inflicted on the people that get sucked into the vortex. His characters translated with stark lack of dimension as if they existed in an afterthought and were forgettable at best.
The author does not describe his recovery process, but chooses to focus on how many drinks, shots, bottles and pills led him to blacking out, over dosing or episodic self-abuse. Did he keep detailed notes?
I also find it very suspect that the five star reviews are all written with the same! exact! exclammated!! syntax! by people who were rooting!! for this guy!!
Yes, harsh; but addiction and recovery is a complex deeply personal subject, one I take seriously. If it sounds insensitive to raise and wave the B.S. flag, so be it. My B.S. triggers were tripped throughout this book and I found myself rolling my eyes through each story reminding me what a hard core bad-ass he is as he downs yet another fistfull of ecstacy or "handle" of booze.
To me, a memoir reveals feelings, insight, a path and self discovery as it tells a compelling story.
I do wish the author well in his future writing endeavors. This one fell short and missed the mark for me.
17 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
Resentment and recovery
By Theodore D Wegener
Not that well written. Starting to wonder how much understanding young Ronnie has, but I liked the beginning and the description of the hatred of his Father. Drunkalogue for the first 45 pages After about page 56 I am losing interest. Half way thru the book and it just goes on and on with drinking, drugging an fighting without much of a point or a lot of deep insight. This book seems like an exercise in therapy and not really a polished work . Frankly it is tiresome. 74 pages of drinking gets tiresome.
"much as I hate my grandfather, I would never wish death on anybody, because there is no coming back from that. I still have a deep hatred and resentment towards him, but he definitely wouldn't be worth spending the rest of my life in jail for. I've wasted enough time on him already."
I want to be kind but Ronnie is a fairly new sober person and you can see from the above quote he still has a lot to learn about recovery. I can give it 2 stars but wouldn't highly recommend it. But I wish young Ronnie well and hope he gets over these resentments.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Really good, but could use polishing
By Amazon Customer
For some reason addiction follows me. 2 ex husbands, 2 ex boyfriends, & a brother were addicts. Even tho a great part of my life was spent on the outside looking in, I have never understood it, & could not view it as an illness or disease. I read these books looking for something that will change my mind.
Although I didn't find that answer here either, it was a great read. The author didn't make excuses until his relapse, when he blamed it on boredom & the pressure of being a new dad - but in the end, those were the things that made him want to stay sober.
The book does need to be edited a bit (a few "doesn't not" & "wasn't not's" fixed to remove the double negative; some instances of extra words like "she was asleep beside me on the on the bed"), not spell checked, but READ & edited. Besides that, it's great.
Because I've been where Sarah was, she is who I related to, & I don't get the feeling the author TRULY knows how she felt (& probably still feels). I hope he realizes how lucky he is that she stuck it out. I didn't. I couldn't see it as a sickness, & therefore placed the blame on the addict. The lies & deceit were unforgivable & I never regained the trust. So, this author needs to count his blessings. I hope someday he will understand what SHE went thru, & withthat he may understand when she gets annoyed with him. Every time I tried to voice my feelings to an addict ex he made excuses or said it wasn't his fault that he was "sick."
I wish this family all the luck in the world. And to Sarah: there are people who know how difficult this journey was, and is, for you. You're a bigger woman than I am.
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